Post by Scarybooster on Jul 15, 2011 15:54:47 GMT -5
As some of you know, I am a world famous blogger. Chick are on my dick 24/7 and Justin Bieber drives my limo. I am da shiznit. Ok, now that you all know who you're dealing with, I wrote a warning to all you SWTOR nerds. I give you less than 6 months before your marriage. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, is what daddy Ice Cube used to say. Enough talk, read da shit or click on link and tell me what the fuck!
www.scarybooster.com/?p=1056
There has been plenty of rumors going around about Star Wars The Old Republic being the root cause of marriages ending in divorce in the future. People should be worried. When you combine a Star Wars fanatic with an MMO fanatic you get a crazy lunatic void of responsibilities. I made a quick list of 10 reasons why your marriage will end. Because I know I’m talking to the gamer that will be playing SWTOR, this list is your warning. Might as well get the divorce papers drafted up now.
10a. You will talk about SWTOR so much, she will drug you up, tie you to the bed, cut off you penis with a 10″ butter knife, and throw it in the garbage disposal.
10b. You will talk about SWTOR so much, he will cut off your titties, hollow them out with a spoon like cantaloupe, and use them as a tobacco pouch.
9. You will be on the computer so long, your ass will become grafted to the computer chair and your spouse will have to roll your nasty ass out in the front yard with all your belongings.
8. While you are playing, your spouse will be fucking the mail person, housekeeper, pool guy, your boss, and the dog right in front of you. All you will notice is the flash of your neighbors lightsaber plunging in and out of your spouse. Reverse the plunging if you are female.
7. You will start calling your partner Master during climaxes. Even though this is a good thing if you are into BDSM, plunging your $5 lightsaber you bought at Toys R Us, into your spouses ass unannounced, will get you divorced.
6. When asked to do housework, you refer to your spouse as an agent of the Hutts. You go into detail about how they sometimes look like a Hutt in specific clothing.
5a. You pull on your husbands penis to select what response you want from the fully voiced character. You pull harder for Darkside points.
5b. You dial your wife’s breasts to answer her questions and progress the story. Even though fully voiced is a great feature, you still ignore her and do what the hell you want anyways.
4. You explain you were not cheating, you were just filling the group.
3a. Late one night you are discovered in your town’s park only in a Jedi robe trying to get your lightsaber to extend.
3b. Late one night you are discovered in your town’s park only in a white robe blowing a bum that calls himself R2D2. Darth Vader (police) were about to catch you, so you were trying to leave a holographic message for your husband to bail you out of jail.
2a. You refer to your wife’s vagina as a Sarlacc Pit with the biggest teeth in the galaxy.
2b. You compare your husband’s droopy balls to Jar Jar Binks’ floppy ears. Then ask if you can shave them, because even a Wookie isn’t that hairy.
1. You log off from the game and discover you are 50 years older, living in mental hospital, your kids are all grown up, your spouse left you 40 years ago, and the nurse that has been giving you sponge baths looks like Yoda. You faintly remember having sex with it while waiting for the Looking for Group tool to find you a group. The divorce papers are sitting on the computer desk next to you, but you can’t read them because you scratched notes all over them to keep track of DKP.
Categories: GAMES, HUMOR
Tags: HUMOR, nex-gen mmo, swtor
www.scarybooster.com/?p=1056
There has been plenty of rumors going around about Star Wars The Old Republic being the root cause of marriages ending in divorce in the future. People should be worried. When you combine a Star Wars fanatic with an MMO fanatic you get a crazy lunatic void of responsibilities. I made a quick list of 10 reasons why your marriage will end. Because I know I’m talking to the gamer that will be playing SWTOR, this list is your warning. Might as well get the divorce papers drafted up now.
10a. You will talk about SWTOR so much, she will drug you up, tie you to the bed, cut off you penis with a 10″ butter knife, and throw it in the garbage disposal.
10b. You will talk about SWTOR so much, he will cut off your titties, hollow them out with a spoon like cantaloupe, and use them as a tobacco pouch.
9. You will be on the computer so long, your ass will become grafted to the computer chair and your spouse will have to roll your nasty ass out in the front yard with all your belongings.
8. While you are playing, your spouse will be fucking the mail person, housekeeper, pool guy, your boss, and the dog right in front of you. All you will notice is the flash of your neighbors lightsaber plunging in and out of your spouse. Reverse the plunging if you are female.
7. You will start calling your partner Master during climaxes. Even though this is a good thing if you are into BDSM, plunging your $5 lightsaber you bought at Toys R Us, into your spouses ass unannounced, will get you divorced.
6. When asked to do housework, you refer to your spouse as an agent of the Hutts. You go into detail about how they sometimes look like a Hutt in specific clothing.
5a. You pull on your husbands penis to select what response you want from the fully voiced character. You pull harder for Darkside points.
5b. You dial your wife’s breasts to answer her questions and progress the story. Even though fully voiced is a great feature, you still ignore her and do what the hell you want anyways.
4. You explain you were not cheating, you were just filling the group.
3a. Late one night you are discovered in your town’s park only in a Jedi robe trying to get your lightsaber to extend.
3b. Late one night you are discovered in your town’s park only in a white robe blowing a bum that calls himself R2D2. Darth Vader (police) were about to catch you, so you were trying to leave a holographic message for your husband to bail you out of jail.
2a. You refer to your wife’s vagina as a Sarlacc Pit with the biggest teeth in the galaxy.
2b. You compare your husband’s droopy balls to Jar Jar Binks’ floppy ears. Then ask if you can shave them, because even a Wookie isn’t that hairy.
1. You log off from the game and discover you are 50 years older, living in mental hospital, your kids are all grown up, your spouse left you 40 years ago, and the nurse that has been giving you sponge baths looks like Yoda. You faintly remember having sex with it while waiting for the Looking for Group tool to find you a group. The divorce papers are sitting on the computer desk next to you, but you can’t read them because you scratched notes all over them to keep track of DKP.
Categories: GAMES, HUMOR
Tags: HUMOR, nex-gen mmo, swtor
